Friday, January 16, 2015

I feel very blessed and am much surprised reading your comments here and thank you all, Tom, Halle, Rouchswalwe, Marja-Leena, Lucy, Sabine, Roderick R and Natalie, for your kind words.

Why surprised?  Because when I want to know if one of you has posted anything new I click on your blog.  I did not expect all of you dear friends to click on my blog to see if there is something new to read after I mentioned 'end of posting and commenting'.  

I have been feeling very fatigued and melancholic for a while now and very much in need of receiving. I don't feel the strong woman.

This new need of mine feels very strange to me.  I don't know what name to give it.  Is it need for help, appreciation, encouragement, gestures, words, love?
Maybe I do get it all but don't feel it, nor see it, nor hear it.

Is this need caused by the fact that a big 'O' is around the corner or is it health related?  I have been told that the count of "I forgot what" in my blood has been low for too long and have been referred to a specialist whom I'll see next week.

Today was better than yesterday - I'm on the way to improved tomorrows.

I do follow your blogs and also

                        Je suis (for the verb suivre) Charlie  


marja-leena said...

I am sorry you've been feeling fatigued and a bit low! I hope the doctor's visit will be helpful and give you good cheer! Take care, we all care about you.

Tom said...

Marja-Leena's comment says it all. Just because you may not post doesn't mean we stop thinking of you, or stop looking out for you.

Lucy said...

Poor old Ellena, I hope they find out something helpful and can give you something to pick you up. Please don't worry about not giving us enough, we are very happy to have your friendship and only want you to be well and content. Take care and much love.

(The 'suis' is an interesting angle, though in fact one hears it little...)

Roderick Robinson said...

I teased you and I shouldn't have done. It was done for selfish professional reasons - to see if I could winkle out of you one last sentence, written in your inimitable style which I both adore and envy.

A typical example above: I don't feel the strong woman.

How important the use of the definite rather than the indefinite article. You have this feel for language; please continue to write if only for yourself.

Your melancholia may have physical roots but that's for the doctor to say. There is another possibility, often laughed at, but which may be relevant. During winter months some people suffer from SAD (seasonally affected disorder) brought on by the cold, the long nights, the lack of community. My wife, VR, suffers from it. It seems banal to say that Spring may chase it away but I think it's worth reminding yourself of Spring's attractions, making them something positive to hang on to.

You could read Diary Of A Nobody by George and Weedon Grossmith. Evelyn Waugh, whom I have always admired, said it was the funniest novel ever written. I would tend to agree. Written well over a hundred years ago.

Rouchswalwe said...

Hallo dearest Ellena! Pegleg here. I'm still hobbling about with this aircast boot, so I have an inkling how you must be feeling. It doesn't help when the sky is grey and the day feels heavy. "No-Umpfh" days, I call them. So how to inject Umpfh into the day? A wee bit of laughter? Last night, I stumbled on a funny show called "Galavant" ... Here's a link I hope works:,p0,d0
It's about a dashing young man and a king who sings and a princess who ... well, I won't say much more. You'll have to see it!
Sending a big hug to you!!

Sabine said...

Take one day at a time, fatigue asks for concentration on the essential. Getting mad at it makes it only harder. I find it helps to just let it be and to not over analyse it. Watch yourself, literally, and be patient.
Take care, lovely to see this post, despite it's melancholic message.

Natalie d'Arbeloff said...

Dear Ellena, I'm very sorry to be late in responding. I'm often late for everything so don't mind me.

I don't have any words of wisdom to offer but I do want to say: it's perfectly fine not to be strong, not to be self-sufficient, not to exercise all those highly praised characteristics. It's our right to sometimes be needy, to sometimes be down and out, to sometimes want more love, response, attention, support. Yes, it's our right and we should not be shy in admitting it. So come on, write some placards (funny ones) and let's all march in the street and demand more!
I wish you joy and good health and a good laugh.